Caving.

I'm a horrible person.
I caved.
I gave into the sin of a deadly habit, and I don't know if I can go back now.

Yet again...I have started smoking.

I think it's all the stress. Smelling it. Seeing it. CRAVING IT.
I caved.
I went and bought smokes.
I caved.

I feel both ashamed and relieved...it's a weird combination.

It's all this goddamn stress!
My mothers surgery, in which she stands a chance of fatality.
My court case.
My exams.
Everything is so jumbled, and I don't know any release anymore...
When I couldn't find something to replace the one I'd lose...
Smoking walked back into my arms...